Thursday, July 19, 2012

I Love You all

I have a bit of laundry to do and other light cleaning that should be done soon, but I read something earlier that put me in the blogging mindset and now I won't have peace until I've said my piece.
  I have written before on the topic of Babywise. I've always given the book and the practices it entails good reviews. I've done so mainly because it has worked so well for me and my two boys. I will gladly admit that I am not a strict user of the Babywise method. There have been many times in both my children's infant months in which I rocked them to sleep, fed them then put them to bed, and even fed them to calm them, even if it wasn't feeding time. But for the most part, I would consider myself a Babywise mom.
  Why would I bring up this well known (to those of you who know me well) fact? It's because I have matured a bit since becoming a mom and I have discovered a few new truths.
   Truth #1: Not all children are my children.
             While being a mother and witnessing other mothers mother other children, I have observed that no two children are alike. Even my two boys differ in personality as well as appearance. Because of this truth, I have come to realize that no single method is the answer for every single baby.
   Truth #2: Not all women are me.
             Um, duh? But seriously, I can be downright stubborn when I want to have it my way when it comes to parenting. If it's nap time and Noah doesn't want to nap (like what's happening as I type this very post), I will ensure that he stays in his bed for the minimal duration of a nap at the very least. When he was little bitty, I would let him cry himself to sleep in his crib, even if my heart was hurting while I listened, because I wanted him to be able to soothe himself and fall asleep on his own. (Just to ensure you, dear readers, that I am not a monster; the longest I let Noah or Witten cry in their crib before checking on them to make sure everything was alright was 10-15 minutes tops. Sometimes I may have checked in on them 3 or more times before they fell asleep, but I never let them continue crying if there was a reason for them to be crying.)
           The point of this truth is that not all women are as bullheaded strong willed as I am when it comes to sweet little babies and how often/long they will let their little ones cry. It doesn't mean that any of us are wrong. Unless, of course, one's lack of concern for a crying baby borders neglect or child endangerment. Then you are very, very wrong.
   And finally,
      Truth #3: Not every mother must use the Babywise method.
           I'll admit, friends and readers, that in the beginning of my parenting career, I was a harsh judge when it came to people I knew who were not followers of the Babywise series. I would think unfair, unjustified, superior thoughts of myself and my baby when thinking of others who weren't doing exactly what I was doing. But then those babies grew and flourished and were loved and happy. I found myself being reprimanded by the Spirit within me for the thoughts I had towards other mothers. How could I judge another woman for doing what she deemed right and best for her baby, especially when her baby was happy and loved and thriving? By the time my second kid was born, I had come to realize that other women who were doing things different from me were not wrong, just different, and that was perfectly fine!
          In admitting this truth, I feel the need to apologize. I try my hardest to never offer unsolicited or unwanted advice because I have received a fair share of such advice. (Thank you, elderly lady in the grocery store, for pointing out my newborn's thin little legs and telling me I need to feed him more. I was feeling unsure and insecure enough before and now I'm certain that I'm a horrible parent.) I'm sad to admit it, but I'm positive that there have been times when my unfounded belief that my parenting technique was right and any other technique was wrong must have been quite obvious. So to anyone whom I may have insulted (unintentionally, I promise!) with my ideas on parenting and/or Babywise, I am very sorry.    
       With all this being said, I still gladly suggest Babywise to all expectant mothers in preparing for your sweet new arrival, but I will honestly say that it is not for everyone and that each mother should do what they feel is best for them, their family, and their baby.
 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it"  Proverbs 22:6

1 comment:

  1. I think it's easy for moms to pass judgement on other moms, hence the mommy wars article in time! And it's even easier to think whatever we are doing is better than so and so! It takes God to change our hearts and to be humble realizing we arent the perfect ones- no one is! Great blog and love your heart!