Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Ode to my Living Room Carpet (Mystery Stains)

Oh mystery stains that speckle my floors,
you appear on my carpets and darken my doors.
I have at you with cleaners, with machines I attack!
But, mystery stains, you will always come back.

Cursed mystery stains, you annoying dark spots!
You only appear where I wish you would not.
To far from the walls for the couches to hide,
Foul stains, you are why the dogs are kept outside.

Stinking mystery stains, must you always reappear?
Though you leave for a moment, your return is near.
I diligently clean my carpets, as every housewife should,
but you sometimes make me wish I had floors made of wood.

Now, mystery stains, let us reason together.
You will be here, it seems, no matter the weather.
 So unless you get obvious or omit a foul odor,
I will leave you all be. (Unless company comes over.)