Tired of those last five pounds you just can't seem to lose? I was. I was at my wit's end trying to lose that stubborn weight until I discovered Disease.
Disease is an all nature way to lose weight fast. Disease will dramatically reduce your appetite, thereby decreasing your caloric intake. At the same time, Disease is hard at work causing you to purge your body of all calories already digested. You wont have to move an inch to lose a lot! And the best part is, Disease is easy to spread, meaning your entire household will soon be pounds lighter! Don't delay! High five, hug, or share drinks with the nearest Diseased person to you and lose weight now!
(Side affects include, but are not limited to, nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, fever, chills, mild hallucinations, loss of sleep, loss of the will to live, temporary loss of control of bodily functions, weakness, weariness, sweating, swearing, restlessness, dizziness, and mad dashes to the nearest toilet. Do not contract Disease is you are pregnant, nursing, married, a parent, alive, or have an aversion to regurgitating your food.)
I'm glad I got Disease, because I know that it's behind me and I'll never have to deal with is again.