Friday, May 7, 2010

No title can adequately express.

Words can scarcely express what I'm feeling today, and it's only 7:45. I'll start with the simple feelings; hungry, tired, sore are a few physical feelings I can't quite shake off. Then there's the elation, the awe, the gravity of my new situation, and the immense love for a tiny, soft, delicate mini-Stephan that is currently getting circumsized. I've heard all the tired and 'oft repeated saying that come with having a baby. "You're life will change forever", "you'll never have felt so much love", and the like. As much as i hate cliches, Those and the many other statements have proven themselves to be completely true, and I haven't even been a mother for a complete day yet.
Noah Sias Du Toit, my son, is perfect! His tiny cries are perfect, the way he sleeps is perfect, his little bitty messy bowel movements are perfect, to me everything he does and is is perfect! Even as he struggles to remember how effectively he has already fed at my breast this morning, I love him. I love touching him and smelling him and kissing him and watching his father do all the same things. Stephan is so entirely smitten. He kisses his boy all the time and prides himself in how many diapers he has changed thus far. It's not that he will be a good father, because he already is.
I woke up twice in this last night, our first as a family. Both times it was to my son's feeble little wails, and I couldn't mind it any less. I FEEL like a mother. I FEEL like I'm doing what God put me on this earth to do: nurture. I love that baby so stinkin' much!
Stephan has run home to grab a few things we need and take care of the animals and clean up the house. We will be released tomorrow around 1:

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